There’s a misconception that waiting is synonymous with wasting. Well I guess it depends on what you’re waiting for.
If you’re waiting for the “perfect man”, I’m afraid you’re going to be waiting for a long time and quite frankly wasting your time. But if you’re praying for your singleness and waiting on God’s purpose for your life to unfold; well then… you’re headed in the right direction.
I often read the same phrase over and over again in the many messages I receive, “I’m tired of being single”. So many women ready for marriage and tired of being on their own. Here’s a scenario I’m sure will resonate with many of you. My friend’s boyfriend abruptly told her that he needed a break, some space. After dating for four years this was a blow because she was expecting a ring not the most dreaded words ever. My friend was devastated but decided to be strong and surrender it all to God. She went back to work only to find out that two of her coworkers had gotten engaged over the weekend. All her efforts to trust in the Lord and wait on Him came crashing down. It’s not easy to focus on being single and content when all around you people are going on about their life, getting engaged and married, while your life is on an indefinite pause. Unfortunately the enemy is well aware of your dreams so he makes sure to bombard you with all the things you so desire for your life. This triggers frustration, resentment and the whys.
Last night we had a live Q&A session and we had to answer a very interesting question. Are we as Christian singles obsessing over finding the one to the point that we forget to live? I have to admit that was my favorite question of the night. Why? Because the answer is YES. I see it everyday. Women of all ages focusing entirely on the Whys. Why am I not finding the one? Why is God not answering me? Why is it taking so long? Women lost in the Whys and losing their faith in Christ. Does this sound familiar?
You’ve been so focused on the whys that you’ve forgotten to simply thank the Lord. God’s word says, “Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Giving thanks changes your attitude and your mindset, it changes the atmosphere of the season you’re in and opens you up to all of God’s goodness. Giving thanks is challenging but it gets easier the more you practice it, besides God is so worth it.
During our Q&A session a couple of nights ago my friend Anna made an excellent analogy. When you’re heating up your food in the microwave, if you sit and stare at the timer 20 seconds will feel like 20 minutes but if you’re busy doing something else during those 20 seconds, your food is ready before you know it. The same goes for your singleness, this season will feel eternal if you’re just focused on the wait.
Wait with Purpose!!
I challenge you to stop concentrating on the whys and direct your energy on just living your life for God. The enemy has used this against you for too long and it’s time to shake it off. All this time the Lord’s been watching you saying, “my precious daughter stop stressing and start living. I’ve set you apart for a reason, stop fighting it and work with me.” (Deut 14:2)
Use this time to learn the word of God. Go beyond your daily devotional and fill your spirit with God’s truths, memorize them until they’re ingrained in your heart and mind. (Psalm 119:105) Learn to hear God’s voice through His word so you can later recognize it when your out facing the worries of this world. Become familiar with His voice to be able to discern it from all the other voices in the world vying for your attention. (John 10:27) Once you perceive God’s voice you can then decipher His will and avoid being lost in the fog of this world. Get deep rooted in the Word so no one can sway you with lies. The more intimate you become with His word the more cemented your identity in Christ becomes.
Spend your time in prayer. Start a prayer journal and keep track of all the blessings and changes going on in your life. Pray about your hopes and dreams but also ask the Lord to chip away the things in you and in your life that don’t please Him. Ask the Lord to grow you and use you. Pray scripture and claim His promises, you release God’s power when you speak His word. God says,”so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty”. (Isaiah 55:11) So believe it as you say it! Pray for His everlasting joy to take over your life until you overflow. It’s important your life reflect and glorify Christ. A frail lonely single girl puts off anyone but a woman who radiates confidence and knows who she is in Christ, attracts positive attention. Your life can be a testimony for the glory of God.
Take time to listen to the Lord as well, a relationship is a two way street. If you’re the one doing all the talking you’ll never know what He wants from you. Spend time in silence basking in His presence and soaking in His peace. Listen to worship music too, this opens up our Heavenly Father’s supernatural realm. (Psalm 29:2) Let Him saturate you with His love and allow the Holy Spirit to complete you. Remember He has set you apart for Him and for His purpose, so alone time with God is key.
Serve Him! Stop thinking you can’t be used. Use your experiences to mentor and encourage other single women. Others can benefit from what you’ve learned along the way. Intercede for others. When you pray for others your own worries seem to dissipate and become less important. Dedicate your free time to the church you attend. You can impact so many other lives simply by being obedient to God and living out your life for Christ.
These small actions will make a huge impact in your spiritual life and it will empower you to step out into the world boldly and start living a fruitful life. Yes, you’re waiting but your season will no longer control you. Why? Because you are waiting on God with purpose not waiting and wasting.