christian dating · christian singles · dating a christian · Dating Wisdom · unequally yoked

Love hurts

The world says, “love hurts”. My past extensive dating experience would agree but it’s appropriate to include a much needed caveat. Love hurts when it’s not within God’s will. God’s will is for us to love one another. (John 13:34) Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world where love and pain go hand in hand but does it have to be that way?

My first love was memorable not in a Notebook romantic movie kind of way but more like a Twilight all wrong kind of way. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. Boy breaks girl’s heart. Girl holds on to Boy till heart is shattered. I was trying to breath life into a dead relationship even if it meant ignoring God’s voice. Towards the end of the ill fated relationship even my parents were against our coupling. And yet I thought I knew best because my heart was telling me to tighten my grip on something God was clearly telling me to let go.

Many times you are so caught up in your emotions that everything else is muted. God’s voice, wise counsel even common sense. Love will hurt when you disobey God. Love will hurt when you don’t honor God in your relationship and have sex. Love will hurt when you refuse to see the red flags. Love will hurt when you’re in an unequally yoked relationship.

The Bible says, “Children obey your parents for this is right”. (Ephesians 6:1) My parents warned me, counselled and prayed with me but I wasn’t a child. I was 22, I knew what I wanted and I was going to do my will. Godly parents are gifted with keen discernment, to be able to see things we’re too blind to see. If you fail to stop and listen to wise counsel, love will hurt.

God’s word says, love is patient and kind but when sin is part of a dating relationship “LOVE” will not function as God intended. Sex unites when in the confines of marriage. Sex outside of marriage brings about chaos and confusion. A sinful relationship breeds love led by the flesh. It has a semblance of 1 Corinthians 13 love but in reality it’s a morphed knock off version being peddled by the enemy. God’s will is for your sanctification and therefore calls you to abstain from sexual immorality.

Our relationship had become possessive, self seeking, unkind, and ungodly because we chose to disobey God. We never prayed over our relationship even though we both attended church and believed in Jesus. A once promising relationship had turned into a nightmare. Sin on the onset appears to enhance your life but underneath it’s only corrupting and destroying your spiritual life.

Does this mean that your relationship is doomed because you fell to temptation. Absolutely not. We serve a merciful God that seeks restoration and reconciliation. Ask for forgiveness for he’s ready to forgive and wrap you in his loving arms. Seek God’s will over your will. Pray over your relationship, pray together and be obedient to God’s Word. Ask the Lord to open your spiritual eyes and ears to see and hear the warnings. When you surrender your relationship to the Lord, it will organically thrive or wither.

Pray and seek God’s best, where love will grow and flourish as well as your walk with Christ. Don’t settle for a love that hurts and threatens the very things God is trying to cultivate in you. Listen to wise counsel, listen to your Shepherds Word and God will bless your future.

Picture source :@ceruleanwax

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