There are only a few seasons I look back on fondly, like my season of singleness. Prior to meeting my husband of two years now, I go beyond reminiscing. I yearn for the closeness I had with God during that time. I lovingly refer to it as my “Desert Years”, because during that season it was just me and God. No distractions, just desertions. I can see now how negative relationships were vying for my attention and affection. Be it relationships with others or the one I had with myself. None of them were good. Coming out of years of addiction, I had prayed and asked God to remove anyone not sent by Him and to help me on my path back to Him. In desperation I begged Him to do something new in me. The tug of war for my soul had left me battle weary and shell shocked. I needed God to remove me from circumstances I wasn’t willing to walk away from on my own. Things got very lonely for a while. The week after that prayer I received notice that my job was being transferred to another site. Away from the comforts of familiar faces and routine tasks. None of which were godly. At the same time my fiancé ended our tumultuous relationship. (The one I knew I needed to end but just couldn’t walk away from) It was as if God just reached down and plucked me out of where I was and sat me back down where He wanted me. Alone and quiet. Safe from harm. He does that to protect us sometimes. Even if who or what we need protecting from is ourselves. It’s not that He is keeping things from us, it’s Him protecting us from things! Or even sometimes people.
He’s a good Father like that. Had He not removed everyone and everything causing to distract me, I wouldn’t have been able to BE STILL and come to know Him. I had to turn down the volume of the world to hear His voice. It was in my private moments with God that He touched my soul and ignited a fire within me. My thirst went beyond any I had experienced before regarding the Word of God. I prayed believing in faith that He would give me the knowledge and understanding of the Scriptures in the Bible and I received it. I woke up with God on my mind, carried His scriptures in my heart throughout the day and fell asleep with His Word on my chest at night. The more He revealed, the more I wanted Him to reveal.
For the first time in my life I KNEW Him, INTIMATELY. He was MY God and I became His daughter. The Bible became alive for me. His promises were indeed for ME. His Word was The Lamp to MY feet to guide ME. I sought Him daily. And the only thing He ever left me longing for was more of Him. He was everything a Husband should be to a Bride. He provided my every need. Sleepless nights spent in crying, found comfort by His Spirit. Financial needs were being supernaturally met. Unexplained favor had found me. I was so focused on my relationship with God that no other relationship mattered. I had come to an overwhelming sense of peace about never finding my soul mate and being okay with it as long as I had Jesus. God used this season to prune me of the character defects and sinful ways that had prevented me from becoming the Proverbs 31 woman He was calling me to be. He molded me into the woman my husband was praying God to send him.
I had to go through that season to be where I am today. There was no getting “here” without first being “there”. There was never any doubt my husband was heaven-sent because there were qualities and characteristics about him, that only God knew I desired. (Psalm 37:4) Things only my heart whispered to Him. And as a married woman now, I can better understand 1 Corinthians 7 where Paul talks about it being better to remain single, so all your attention and focus can be on God. As much as I would like to be “all about God” now the reality is that I have a husband to love on and a marriage to nurture. Time with God is harder now to schedule, as so many little distractions pick and pull at my time with Him. The closeness I experienced with Him is still attainable; only now I must put forth more effort to achieve it.
The lessons I learned during that season of singleness are invaluable. And I encourage anyone who finds themselves in such a place, not to pray it away longing for the company of another, but to revel in the Presence of God. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you INTIMATELY. Sit still long enough to hear His heart poured out onto YOU through His Word. Soak up His presence. EXPERIENCE HIS POWER! Fall in love with YOUR Creator. YOUR FATHER! Then fall in love with yourself as you begin to see who you are through His eyes and knowing who you belong to. For only then can you truly fall in love another.
Written By: Amanda Smith
Amanda Smith is a wife, mother of three young adults, a mid-career professional in the industrial Industry, loyal friend and faithful follower of Christ. She is gifted in writing and encouragement and uses her gifts to lead people to Jesus. She has a burning desire to see the lost found, the broken restored, the sick healed and the addicted set free. Her hope is to let the world know that what Jesus has done for her, He will also do for them.