christian dating · honoring God · premarital sex · Uncategorized

Are you having sex or waiting for marriage?

Abstaining from premarital sex is challenging in the culture we in live today. In a “do as thou wilt” society all is acceptable except righteousness. When you say, “I’m waiting for marriage to have sex”, you’re looked upon as a strange green alien from a far off planet. It’s no wonder many keep their desire to honor God a secret unless directly asked. I haven’t met many singles that boast about their desire to abstain from sex but when they do, it seems people are betting against them to fail and fall into temptation; case in point, Tim Tebow. That poor guy, every time he entered a new relationship the tabloids would post, “will this be the woman Tim loses his virginity to”. I’m so happy he is now married and in the Name of Jesus prevailed against the enemy’s taunts.

Recently while reading the book of Exodus, I came across the story of “The Golden Calf”. (read Exodus 32 for the full story) It’s a pretty crazy story that I’m sure you learned in Sunday school, but as I read it I felt the Holy Spirit drawing my attention to a part of the story very rarely mentioned. So it goes something like this, Moses went up Mount Sinai to talk with God for 40 days. The people in the camp below were tired of waiting for Moses so they convinced Aaron to make a golden calf out of their jewelry. Once the calf was cast and placed in front of an altar, they began to dance around it in worship as well as offer burnt sacrifices. But here is the part of the story that I want you to pay close attention to. So Moses stood at the entrance of the camp and said, “Whoever is for the Lord, come to me. And all the LEVITES rallied to him”. (Exodus 32:26) Don’t miss this… the Levites did not join the worship party. They were in the midst of the debauchery and yet refused to dishonor God. They stood their ground.

It’s rare to watch a romantic movie without it featuring “a sex scene”. It’s understood in today’s society that if you’re dating, you’re having sex so it’s no surprise it’s portrayed that way in EVERY movie, show, book and song. The ruler of this world wants to saturate you with anything that is contrary to God’s desire for your life. So the objective of secular entertainment is to normalize sin and make it look innocent. According to every movie portraying a couple they either are having sex or living together. All the music is about sex, dressing sexy, desiring sex, or having sex. But unfortunately the commonality of it has desensitized us to sin and has programmed our hearts to believe that sex outside of marriage isn’t that bad. It’s the natural thing to do in a relationship. It’s a natural desire. It’s okay when you’re in love. Sadly this mindset has seeped into the church culture, but the Bible is clear. “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God” (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

I counsel many young women who are dealing with soul ties because at one point they engaged in premarital sex. Some were dating Christian people actively serving in the church. I recall a specific case in which a young lady dating a youth leader was persuaded by him to have sex. It’s not surprising when we’re constantly being bombarded by the same message, “don’t wait just have sex”. You see it everywhere. Everyone’s doing it. But the Word of God says, “Do not be conformed to this world”. (Romans 12:2a) Just like the Levites! They were in the midst of sin and yet remained pure. Remember you are living in the world but you don’t have to follow the norm. You might have unbelieving friends that steer you to the world but you are special, you are a chosen vessel set apart for Christ. You might be dating, but you have the choice to honor God with your body God’s temple, and offer it as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.

You might be thinking, “great I’ve had sex outside of marriage now what”. The good news is God is a loving graceful God and you can start again! I truly sense we are in a season in which God wants his children to start building again. You failed before, get up and try again. Repent and get right with Jesus and he will rebuild and restore you. He will give you the strength to endure and overcome. But you must abide in him for his Spirit to increase as your flesh decreases. Remember, for the enemy to flee, you must resist him, and that is much easier when you’re armored up and full of the Spirit. Be obedient and you will be blessed beyond your wildest dreams.

If you’re a virgin and struggling, stay the course, for your obedience will be rewarded. Don’t focus on what you’re missing, focus on all you will gain by honoring your Heavenly Father. Uninterrupted communion and intimacy with your Lord Jesus Christ. The gift of His light yoke instead of the heaviness of sin. Continue abiding in him and he will help you endure and reach your goal… a godly marriage.

Living righteously as a single is hard but not impossible. It can be achieved but it won’t be by power, nor by might but only by the Spirit of God. You must stay closely connected to the Father to elude temptation. “And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) The Levites chose to honor God and they not only lived while the rest of the camp perished but were blessed as royal priesthood. Through Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross you are no longer a slave to sin on the contrary, you have power over it. Exert that holy power and live out your singleness righteously and victoriously.

Shayla Ortiz ❤️

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